I just applied at two Whole Foods Markets, and had tears swelling up the whole time...
I have a job, I'm a Mom.
It's not much, but it's mine.
If I had balls, poverty would enjoy licking them.

I feel like I have been sweating all day long.
OK, so I've been baking Christmas goodies with my sister, but besides that, I have been sweating.
I'm happy December has finally rolled around because we have started doing the advent calendar!
It hung in my Mother's house since I was a little girl, and I snatched it the moment I found out I was having Boris because I wanted my kids to have the same wonderful memory (sorry Bev).
Two and a half weeks until the kids are on Christmas break, and my Mom flies in.
Three weeks, two days until Christmas.
Four weeks, three days until 2008!
Royal is 10 months old and walking.
We cannot even afford a Christmas tree (not kidding on any level).
I guess the good outweighs the bad.

Oh yeah, and Saint Arnold's has released their seasonal and very tasty Christmas ale!

:)

Well, the holidays have officially begun!
I know, for a big chunk of it, it's annoying and seems to start earlier and end later every year, but... I love it!
I'm a sentimental dork, oh well!
Today, I got so excited for Thanksgiving!
I literally had a bounce in my step as I reviewed old recipes, found new ones, and borrowed others!
As I wrote out my grocery list, I noticed my smile growing.
I popped in Rik's original 'autumn mix' cd, and admired the leaves falling from the tree in my backyard.
Knowing that the weather is going to drop 20 degrees in the next day, right in time for the festivities, does more for my mood than I can say. Rik and I absolutely love wearing cold weather clothes... long sleeves, and long pants, and, oh my God, NOT sweating!
Wow.
Bring it on!
Enjoy it with great food, happy company and drink in your hand!

One of the gifts I got for my 30th birthday was a gift card to the Gap. I was very excited about this because the Gap came out with a line of 'little black dresses' and they are one of those things every girl should have. I really wanted one, especially because Rik and I are about to celebrate our 8th wedding anniversary tomorrow. So, since I was sort of stuck in a bad mood today, I went to the Gap, and looked around...
I found several dresses.
I tried on 7.
I was all alone doing this, and found it very difficult making an honest judgment about how they looked on me.
Thank God and the Gap for gay Frank. He was awesome, and honest.
I stepped out of the dressing room wearing a really pretty dress with two different shades of gray stripes around the bottom. He took one quick look and was like, "No."
I agreed completely.
So I tried on another one, and went through the same process, the only difference being his reaction. He loved it! I swear I actually saw his face light up! I think we were equally surprised.
The kicker though...it's a size 0. I cannot believe it. I am literally floored. I will however not commit to that size, ever. It's just plain unrealistic.
Well, I tried the dress on for Rik and he loved it. Now the only issue remaining...shoes.

Well, here we are again in the month of November. Home to many nice things... My birthday! I turned 30, and survived! Rik's birthday, Thanksgiving, and the start of the whole "holiday season" thing.
It also holds one other not-so-lovely tradition for the Speed family... pink eye!!!
That's right! Boris woke up this morning with a bit of crust on his eye, but upon washing it, it seemed OK, so he went to school as usual. Hahaha! no sir! Not so fast...
At about 10:20am the phone rings and it is the school nurse! "Boris is here with me, because his teacher and I thought his eye looked 'questonable' and he told me it was a bit crusty this morning. I think you should come get him." So I did. I wrangled the other two, rushed over there, and even got Spike out 30 minutes early bacause it just made more sense that way.
I don't mean to complain, rather vent.
I feel like I'm living in a fog.
With all the nasal issues and migraines, and life in general, I just feel tapped out.
And then this happens.
Always in November.
I called his Dr for a perscription, but have not heard back.
I have moved Robyne's tiny TV into his room, and his quarantine has officially begun!
At least until I get his meds, and the symptoms seem gone.
This will NOT spread.
This WILL be contained!
(Ahem...cross your fingers please...thanks.)

I hate cockroaches.
I am so tired of seeing these things everywhere!
I was just in the laundry/utility room switching the clothes from the washer to the dryer when, as I'm picking one piece of clothing out at a time, notice something in the machine among all the freshly washed clothes... that's right, a fucking roach! That means that I, unknowingly, picked that fucker up, and tossed him in the wash! I'm shuttering at the thought! Not to mention the squeal I let out when it fell from the clothes to the floor!
Rik keeps saying that it's just a factor living in Texas, and that I shouldn't be so bothered. "There just bugs. They don't want to be around you, anymore than you want to be around them." he says.
Good! Stay away from me, and I promise not to poke around in your tree!
Why does something that big need wings?! As if they're not gross enough, lets throw some wings on the bastards and make them nightmare worthy! And trust me, I've had nightmares about them. Let's just say, running water was involved. OH! and don't forget the stories we've all heard about one crawling into some unsuspecting saps ear!
ARGH!!!
Enough already!
Leave me alone!
Someone make a spray that lasts longer than a couple months and kills 'em permanent like! please...

So, I do this thing where, I'm waiting, waiting, waiting for something to happen, thinking, "Oh my GOD, is it ever going to get here?!" when, BAM! it IS here, and I am completely unprepared! I put off doing it,(not in a procrastination type of way, but more like a justified type of way) telling myself, "I've got TONS of time!" and then find myself scrambling the day before.
Halloween is tomorrow and Spike has a parade. Rik has to work at 8am. The parade is at 9:30am. He obviously has to wear his costume. So, naturally, I should paint his face, and cover him in blood (he's going to be a vampire) , but I do not, by any stretch of the imagination, feel as though I am qualified to do this. I am not the 'creative' one, Rik is. Sure Spike is only 4, but I still want him to look awesome!
And then I wonder if I should dress Hella up in her monster kitty outfit, or would that take away from Spike? It's one of those times when I wish I had an on call sitter to watch the younglings while I took Spike alone.
All that aside, I am super excited to get all dressed up as a family and go trick or treating around our neighborhood. We finally live in one that is full of kids! It's going to be a blast!

And then the next day, BAM! I'm 30.

Well, the day started out OK...
But now, I feel irritated and all I want to do is pour a nice glass of wine, or crack open an ice cold Golden Monkey and melt(with a clove?). Melt into a shapeless mound on my couch and stare at mindless TV shows I have absolutely no business watching, let alone enjoying...
But I have four kids.
All of them fed and two bathed, oops, make that three bathed, with one still marinating in all his pruney glory.
Trouble (I don't know if that's the right word really, but...)is, their bed time isn't till 7pm.
Did I mention I turn 30 one week from tomorrow?

The times I have been carded recently...

1. A couple months ago at Spec's upon entering the building.

2. A few weeks ago walking into a bar for a friends birthday.

3. Yesterday when buying tequila and beer at a local discount liquor store.

I know it's silly but, it puts a smile on my face!

Well, it's official. I am 18 weeks and one day pregnant! Very exciting stuff!
I get to find out in three short days whether or not it's a boy or girl.
Three days, I can wait...two weeks, I don't think so.
I'm really starting to enjoy this pregnancy. My belly's getting rounder, and I have felt the baby kick. I love being pregnant, and want to enjoy this last one as much as possible.
I know January 30th will come faster than I'd like, but here's hoping the slowing of time!

Well, Boris finished his very first week of school unscathed!
Yay Boris!
He seems to really love it! His teacher is awesome, and sweet and kind and smiles all the time.
Today as we were leaving, as with every day, he has to first say goodbye to her. When he walked up to her and said "Goodbye!" She said, "Goodbye Boris! See you Monday! Shake hands?" And he giggled and complied. The fact that he likes his teacher so much is more than a dream come true.
I love my kids and my family, and this past week has shown me that in spades!

On to next week where Rik starts school, and the word busy takes on a whole new meaning...

I know that it's because I'm pregnant that my emotions change with the weather (in any other state, that comparison would mean a lot more), but my daughter makes me tear up each and every day.
Tonight Rik was holding her in his arms as we walked to her room to put her to bed. She clutches her blanket and Rik with her right hand while her left thumb never leaves her mouth.
"Hella can you say 'Bye, bye'?" I ask as I lean in for my kiss.
The thumb instantly drops down, and a clear as day "Bye, Bye!" is exclaimed.
Oh my God. She is amazing.
I know, it's only 'bye, bye' but it's not just that. It's the whole entire package.
I am reminded on a daily basis just how fast my kids are growing up, and it makes me smile and cry at the same time.
I'm hopeless.

Well, I finally got my medicaid "package" in the mail, so I officially have insurance for the pregnancy and the baby afterward. I had to call the designated 1-800 number and pick a provider, a.k.a. my midwife. During the course of the call, the woman on the line told me that, "after the baby is born it will be covered under my plan..." and I suddenly filled with emotion! I finally for the first time (other than the day I found out I was pregnant) got genuinely excited about having this baby. I have been so stressed for so many different reasons that I forgot to enjoy this. But that's all gone. Goodbye stress... Hello happy!
We are pregnant... YAY!

Yesterday was Boris' last day of pre-school, and I'm happy and sad.
Happy that he made so many new friends.
Happy about the look on his face everytime we pulled up to school.
Happy that everytime he came out there was a big smile on his face and he would always run to me.
Happy about how much he's grown in the past year.
Sad because it's all over.
Sad that his friends all go away for the summer.
Sad that next year, he goes to the big school for a long 7 hours.

But, I guess when you look at it, there are more happy than sad.

So, um...
three months of summer...
does anyone want to come out and play? :)

Today was the Thanksgiving Feast at my 4 year old sons pre-school. He has been a vegetarian from the moment he was born because both my husband and I are. Myself for ten years, him for five. When he got into the car after school I asked him how his day was, just like I do every day. What did you learn? What did you have for snack? Who was helper bee?
How was the Thanksgiving Feast? Did you eat any turkey?
"Yes."
Crushed.
Just like that.
I knew the day would come but I was hoping it would be when he was more like 10yrs old, not 4. He said he didn't like it.
"Did you swallow it or spit it out?" I asked
"I just swallowed it."
"Did it make your tummy hurt?" I wondered since his small body had never before been exposed to the preservations of meat.
"No."
Crushed again. Not because I want my first born child to be in pain, but because I selfishly held out hope that it would be my last chance for salvation.
Then he tells me "I'm going to try other kinds of turkey and I'm going to like it and you're going to have to start buying meat."
What can I say to that? He's right, if at least partially. Turkey is, after all, quite tender and juicy. And the one he's most likely to try is his Grandfathers deep fried variety at our Thanksgiving feast.
He's four years old, and I'm twenty eight. Maybe when he's a bit older and understands why his Father and I choose not to eat meat, he will once again alter his ways and join us vegetarians.

Damn the Dark Side and its seductive ways!

Well, it was Rik's birthday and he turned 35. Guys are so much different than gals when it comes to their birthdays and the fuss that goes with them. In other words, gals care...guys...not so much. But that doesn't stop me from doing all I can to make his day special for him. cooking and love. The two things guys want. In that order too. Not that I would complain. Know what I mean? smitten:)

I find myself getting frustrated on nearly a daily basis with the stupid people around me. Common sense has apparently been replaced by a look of shockingly comfortable absence. It might just be me, but I suspect the blame lies more so on Texas... East coast all the way!

i just got this thing set up and have absolutely no idea what to write.